Have you ever found yourself sitting by your computer screen, keying in ‘valevictorians.wordpress.com’ and refreshing it hoping for a new blog post? If you’re an avid reacher like such, fear not because we are doing blogmas! Today is the 1 of Dec and from now until the 25th Val and I will be blogging on alternating days – so you’ll get a post every single day! Wow!
Ok for real that was so cringe but I’m so excited to be doing this. Val and I were saying how we’ve found it a lot easier to write – as in there’s no more struggling for words or struggling to think of how to express an idea/feeling merely because (as anyone would know) you write a lot in Uni. And especially that I’m an English student, it’s not that I’ve gotten better at analysing things it’s just that I know how to bullshit well so that I end up writing something that sounds intelligent but don’t really mean anything.
Deviating a little, funnily enough I haven’t really felt in the Christmas spirit. Yes, it’s gotten a lot colder, and yes the lights at the Durham market square are up, but I don’t know what it is… it’s just not as Christmassy feeling yet. Maybe I just need to start Christmas shopping (actually I’ve already gotten Val’s present bagged) or something. But I do feel the holiday feeling coming up. In the past 7 weeks I’ve written and handed in 5 2000 word essays and I’ll finally hand in my last one on Monday!! It is an accomplishment god especially when you never knew how to write a Uni essay initially and you fretted over it and stressed so much but now at my 5th one I don’t even bother because 1) I haven’t left enough time to put in effort and 2) I don’t really know what they’re expecting anyways. Still really dreading feedback sessions.
Since we’re nearing the end of Michaelmas Term I’m just going to do a mini reflection on it. In regards to social life, I was absolutely terrified at the start that I wouldn’t be able to make any friends and I would constantly be intimidated by white people. I swear I had some sort of inferiority complex knowing that I’d be the minority race and white people simply wouldn’t want to associate themselves with me. To be fair, there are those people, but they really aren’t worth my time because they form such a small part of our college. And plus, uni is so big I can easily avoid them anyways. No what proved me wrong was how I literally just threw myself into any and every social situation. I didn’t think I’d have the balls, I thought I’d constantly be self conscious and scared of talking and hanging around new people. When it actually came down to it I did things and went about doing things not caring what anyone thinks of the way I look or speak (things that are indicative of where I came from), because I figured as long as you’re nice, friendly, a little funny/sarcastic and good at conversation people would naturally like to talk to you and be with you. Like frankly no one cares much about where you come from or what you look like or how you speak.
So… I found myself messaging people that I felt like I had a connection with asking if I could join them for pre’s, or if they’re gonna go out that night and whether I could come along. I made it a point to meet someone new every day during the first two weeks and being in Mini Refounders (known as the more antisocial house) I had to or else I’d be holed up in my room with no one. I met people from all over the college and made friends that I loved talking to and hanging out with. Nights out are always so memorable and while I had never indulged in that get super drunk and hookup culture, I loved just dancing and singing and laughing with friends for hours whilst being slightly tipsy(actually, until 2am because we’re a uni city and durham is weird). Or even simple things like going into the dining hall alone (rarely) and finding someone I’ve never met ever to sit with then when after you’ve got a conversation going you realise hey you’ve just met another friend.
There was that one very scary moment we were at Hatfield for dinner (because our dining hall was used for a formal) and it was like Freshers all over again everyone was new we didn’t know anyone. And worst of all there weren’t that many seats. So I ended up sitting with a bunch of Hatfielders with a friend. After we started talking, exchanging facebooks, we ended up getting invited to a Hatfield formal by this guy… and maybe I’ll save the rest of this story for a later post.
It’s just all a big ‘you never know if you don’t try’ thus far and I’m glad I’ve been constantly pushed out of my comfort zone but at the same time know to keep to my values and maintain the boundaries I’ve set for myself.
Anyways, more sooN! (I get that it’s 2 Dec now I just forgot to post this)