I’ve never been on a date. Sure, I’ve gone out with guys I’ve dated but I have never been on a date in the pure I’m-trying-to-get-to-know-you-and-see-if-I-like-you sense, the kind of date Vic talked about in her last post. With my exes (it sounds like I’ve had a whole string of them but nope there’s just 2), I knew I definitely liked them and that they definitely liked me before we went out. With Skyler, we also both acknowledged we liked each other but waited a couple weeks before we decided to be in a relationship, and we haven’t really been on dates since (apart from exploring Boston and going to dances together) because 1, we’re broke college students and 2, we live 20 seconds away from each other.
I don’t think I’m missing out. I’m glad I breezed past the making-out-in-a-club ritual, all the anxiety a first date entails, and the uncertainty that comes after it (power to Vic for being able to handle all that). But I don’t think my experience is typical—Yale definitely has a hookup culture, especially in freshman year. No-one really dates because everyone is so fucking busy and how do you balance school with extracurriculars with social life with a healthy lifestyle with a RELATIONSHIP?? I honestly feel so overwhelmed (in a good way, of course).
A good thing about dating THEN entering a relationship is that you’re surer of the fact that you’re with that person because you actually like him/her. It’s cuffing season right now—here’s Urban Dictionary’s definition:
“During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”
Vic and I talk about this all the time: that we should date someone because we like the person, not solely because we want the thrill or comfort of being with that person. Essentially, like the person more than the relationship. And even though we’re smack in the heart of cuffing season, I think my current relationship is the first one that genuinely follows said rule.
Sorry this was so short—I have so much fucking work to do; gonna drown in my tears now bye