… As you would probably know if you’re following me on twitter/snapchat. But omg literally so proud but also the entire experience was so bizarre it was quite funny tbh. I’ll start from the top.

All of this is going to be in v detail with manual driving terms and shit but I really wanted to record everything so just ignore this if you wanted an emotional and angsty post (it’ll come later).

So I decided I’d learn manual. Stupid, I know. And Hong Kong (or at least my driving school) doesn’t have manual small private cars, so I opted for the manual light good vehicle course. I drive this monster:

I remember my instructor being really confused the first lesson because there I was an 18 year old girl saying she wanted to drive a manual VAN. What a joke. I took around 20 hours of lessons with this instructor who is very discouraging, constantly scolds me and constantly tells me I’m going to fail. Yells at me all the time and tells me if I’m a girl I should just drive an automatic car and it’s pointless to drive a manual. Honestly I developed such thick skin lmao because he was MEAN. SO MEAN. It’s a wonder I didn’t get super dicsouraged and just gave up.

This entire easter was filled with lessons almost every other day. I’ve made every mistake and gotten scolded for literally everything. Speeding a red light, forgetting to look in the mirror while changing lanes, forgetting to signal, starting in 2nd gear, forgetting to change to 2nd gear when there was time to before stopping, forgetting to stop when someone was crossing the road, almost getting squished by a double decker bus because I forgot to let them go first on a turn, crashing into cones, driving in neutral because my dumbass is incapable of pushing the stickshift up properly, not looking far ahead enough and stopping on a zebra crossing/yellow box etc. etc. I was really the most awful student lmao but I figured if I’m going to take lessons I want to make all the mistakes instead of faking it and acting like I knew everything. So there I was, almost killing myself and my instructor every lesson, with him telling me I was definitely going to fail and I’m an awful driver. Tbf I was initially literally the worst.

OKAY SO TODAY WAS THE DRIVING TEST. I had like a lesson before it with my demon instructor and we revised parking/starting on a slope/3 routes. I kept getting more and more nervous because it started drizzling and I had never (in all 20 hours) NEVER driven in the rain and the one day that I needed it to be dry and sunny it was raining. And on top of that parking didn’t go that well either because I’d signalled the wrong light and parked too far left so one of the tyres had crossed the white line. There was my instructor sighing and grunting and telling me that I’m definitely going to fail if I can’t even park properly. ME BEING SUPER BLOODY NERVOUS I COULD JUST SMILE AND LAUGH BUT I GOT MORE AND MORE NERVOUS OH GEEZ.

The actual test – how it went down. BRUHH. I was a ball of nerves anyone I texted at around 11am knows I kept saying “I’m so nervous I’m going to cry” because I genuinely felt like crying and I swear I would’ve just had a mental breakdown if not for me worrying about what other peopel would think of me. I’m sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of other people who were waiting to take their tests as well, and my instructor was standing on the corner of the room and just laughing at me as if he knew I was going to do badly anyways. HE KEPT talking about how the weather was shit and how even the sky doesn’t want me to do well. LITERALLY I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE. So the receptionist calls your number if you’re supposed to go out and start the test, and while I was sitting there trying to not cry, I heard ‘900!’ my number and i jumped up and it was my instructor fucking with me and he was like “oh i’m just kidding I just wanted to scare you it’s not your turn yet” FUCKS SAKE. DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH.

So when they actually did call my name I get in the car. Waited for my examiner to come in. He comes, I say hi. He gives me back my ID card and tells me he doesn’t need it anymore. And me and my dumbass literally just sat there in front of the steering wheel with my ID card in my hand like “um. how am i supposed to drive if I’m holding my ID card” and he was like “you can put it anywhere” and I was like “um. where.” I ended up putting it on the holder thing on the door. BUT THAT’S HOW NERVOUS I WAS OK.

The examiner was so cold and so like. Emotionless. He was like “okay start. Turn right. Turn to parking lot number 2. Demonstrate parallel parking”. AND MIND YOU this was all in cantonese (though ofc I knew wtf he was saying). So I did and I geniunely thought I fucked up because he got off the car and went and checked and I was like ohhhhh shiiiiiittttt. And I figured ok since I messed up already it’s fine just relax. So I did and i told myself I’d at least get the road test fine. So I did that three-point turn thing and we went out onto the road.

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS EXCITING. Or stupid. Idek. But the entire time I was smiling because I was so nervous and I wanted myself to stop being nervous. Thank god he chose the route that was the easiest – yAS – so I was like ok easy great. I do everything p great. Slowed when I needed to slow, went into 3rd gear when there was a chance, changed lanes when I needed to, looked in the mirrors, blind spots/shoulder checks, made way for ambulances etc. AND THEN. HE TELLS ME TO TURN LEFT AT THE LIGHT. So I do. But i don’t realise I’ve already turned the left that he wanted me to. AND I ENDED UP TURNING LEFT IN THE WRONG LIGHT – this happens to be the end of another route. Fuck I knew something was up because he started chuckling and sighing and was like “I didn’t tell you to turn left”. And I was like “Oh. OH.” Me panicking, more than I already was. I started getting choked up and he was like “You should’ve gone straight”. And I genuinely just started crying at this point. He asked me “Do you study overseas” and I was like “yeah” and he asked me where and I was like “UK” and I’m tearing up at this point and he was like “It’s not a bad thing. I’m just asking because you seem really experienced and you drive really fast and confidently.” I’m still crying and absolutely distraught at this point because I thought I did really well at the start and now I’ve absolutely FUCKED IT because I took a wrong turn. I was like “I’m going to fail right” and he was like “Well do you think you’ve done anything particularly wrong? Going the wrong way doesn’t mean you fail”. And I was like “omfg it doesn’t??” and he was like “yeah bruh if you manage to get back to the school in one piece doing everything fine then you’re gonna pass”. And i was like so emotionally overwhelmed and drained that I started crying even harder. I knew that I’m not supposed to take my hand off the steering wheel so I just let my tears stream down my face and didn’t wipe it. At some point he asked me to stop crying because if people see me like that after I get off the car they’re going to think he yelled at me. So I apologised and said that I’m just really nervous and I didn’t know what to do.

We get back to school, I do the last bit of like starting on the slope p well. And then my instructor comes up and first thing he says is ‘HOW COULD YOU GO THE WRONG WAY WHY WOULD YOU DO THE END OF ANOTHER ROUTE FOR A ROUTE WE’VE DONE 12938721039 TIMES’. Ok first I was shook because how did he know. And secondly I was like “I WAS SO SCAREDDDD” (All of this is in canto). And he asked me how I did all in all and I was like “I don’t know I just started crying I didn’t expect myself to cry” – cue me starting to cry again – and he was like “okay then what did he say” and i was like “he said I’ll pass if I come back to school okay” and my instructor started smiling (I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM SMILE) and he was like “OK THEN YOU’LL PASS THAT’S GOOD”. Then I was like bruh but idk if I passed the parking/slope thing. And he was like “you did fine you’ll pass I watched you”. ME = SHOOK. WHAT?

We get off the car, me shaking, wiping tears off my face and him yelling at me for crying and being stupid. He was like “you don’t even cry when I scold you constantly and now that you’ve passed and you’re crying??? What’s even wrong with you”. So we go back to the waiting room and theres me just sniffling and wiping my tears and everyone is staring at me and my instructor had to be like “it’s okay. she’s fine. she passed. she’s just cheesin (crazy)”. And then I get my results back and it’s a pass and I’m a bit emotionally distraught and tired and just dead and shocked and he was like “OK! See you did it.” and all of the other students was like “omg don’t cry you just passed it’s okay”.





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